| Fatwa no. 15799 Q: I would like explain my situation to Your Eminence, supplicating to Allah that He will guide us all to what pleases Him. My daughter’s paternal cousin has proposed to her, he meets all the conditions for marriage, as he is known among his family and community for being pious. He is a university graduate and has the ability to provide a satisfactory standard of living for his wife. My daughter has agreed to marry him, because she is pleased with his religious commitment, noble character, and social standing, as did I and the groom’s family. None of my children had any objections to this marriage, but her mother did, and she justified her opposition on the grounds of the following weak excuses: | | (Part No. 18; Page No. 73) | |
1. His desire to marry my daughter has spread without our knowledge. 2. The suitor’s father (my brother)’s reputation was not sound in the past.I have tried to convince her through many ways during the past year, and I postponed the marriage for one year hoping that she might change her mind, but she went too far. So I have decided to conclude the marriage, fearing that my daughter will miss the age of marriage, as she graduated from university two years ago. However, when I decided to do this, her brothers and sisters changed their minds and stood by their mother in opposing the marriage, claiming that obedience to the mother has priority over obedience to the father. They based this on the Hadith of the Messenger (peace be upon him) regarding the person who asked him (peace be upon him), “Who is the most deserving of good companionship?” I have tried harder with them, but they insist that this marriage should not be concluded, and when I set the date for the marriage contract to be made, they said that they would not attend, without the intercession of mediators. I have other daughters and sons who have reached the age of marriage, and, in order to avoid the occurrence of such a situation again, I hope that Your Eminence will answer the following questions in writing: 1. In the situation when the daughter agrees to marry a suitor who meets all the conditions for marriage, as does the father, is it a necessity to obtain the agreement of the mother and children also? Should they obey the father and his agreement to conclude the marriage? | | (Part No. 18; Page No. 74) | |
2. How valid is the children’s position in supporting their mother, using the Hadith that was mentioned as evidence? A: if someone proposes to a young woman, and she and her Waliy (a legally accountable person acting for a woman regarding marriage) are pleased with him, none of her other relatives have the right to object to her marrying him, as they are not her Waliy. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said,  “If there comes to you one whose character and Din (religious commitment) please you, give him (your daughter or female relative) in marriage.” (Related by Ibn Majah and Al-Tirmidhy) This Hadith is only addressed to the Waliy, not anyone else. May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions. The Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta' |
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